Perhaps Joy

So many things happen this past few days, but there is this one thing, this one.. event that recently happen. 
I am some how confuse and in denial  of my own.. Hmm~ how should I put it..Feelings? or is it something else?
Don't get me wrong this is a happy event I'm trying to share here but its just that, you know when you are torn apart of what you think you feel and what you think you should feel?. I am in that situation now. Perhaps this is my new found joy or perhaps I am playing with fire here. Desire and what not controlling over and all that sort of thing. I just want to understand what is happening here and how did this start?. May be its all to soon for me to eject anything out of this but I do wish in a way it won't go away. Please don't let anything bad happen here if possible (this is selfish of me to say this) let it stay this way for a little longer. Perhaps this is my joy. Right? Lets just hope so.